I went to the bank the other day... I asked the banker to check my balance........................ So he pushed me!!!
--- Dad: Who was that man I saw you kissing last night?
Teenage daughter: I'm not sure - what time was it?
--- A boy wanders into a pet store and asks for a quarter's worth of bird seed.
The clerk smiles at this strange request and asks, "How many birds do you have?"
The kid replies, "None, yet. But I hope to grow some!"
--- Did you hear about the dentist who became a brain surgeon?
His drill slipped.
--- Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with the word 'analyze' in it?
Chet: Anna said she met U2 at a concert, but Anna lies.
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